


1, 2, 3, 4

by thesourwolf



Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe, M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-02-23
Updated: 2014-02-23
Packaged: 2018-01-13 13:07:57
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,779
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1227547
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thesourwolf/pseuds/thesourwolf
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Stiles Stilinski learned the hard way that you should always double-check phone numbers before sending threatening texts.</p>
<p>"I swear to god dude if you blow me off again for Allison, I’ll personally shove a lightsaber so far up your ass, the room’s gonna light up when you yawn."</p>
            </blockquote>





	1, 2, 3, 4

**Author's Note:**

> First off, this entire story is probably going to be posted in the style of texts being exchanged -- at least, for the foreseeable. Although, if the story demands it, there might be a phone call or an IM here and there. but for the most part, this story is less prose, and more texty dialogue.
> 
> Secondly, this will be a multi-chaptered story, although with work and tumblr distracting me, updates may or may not be somewhat sporadic. I'll do my best, though!
> 
> And lastly; thank you for reading. I hope you enjoy. c:
> 
> P.S. Html is being super dumb, and I can't figure it out, so there's a few glitches, sorry!

**Friday 21 February**  
**2:57 P.M.**  
I swear to god dude if you blow me off again for Allison, I’ll personally shove a lightsaber so far up your ass, the room’s gonna light up when you yawn.

** 3:08 P.M.  
** _A) I don’t even know an Allison, b) that sounds incredibly and unnecessarily violent, and c) I don’t think that’s how light sabers work._

**3:09 P.M.  
** Sorry! New phone, wrong number.

** 3:10 P.M.  
** _I’d suggest double checking phone numbers before you send violent texts._

****3:11 P.M.  
It’s usually the right number.  
**3:11 P.M.**  
Weird that I managed to text another Star Wars fan though.

** 3:15 P.M. **  
_Isn’t half the planet a Star Wars fan? And even the ones who aren’t still know what a light saber is._

**3:15 P.M.**  
Touché.  
**3:16 P.M.  
** Anyway, if you’ll excuse me, I’ve got a SW marathon to get to. Sorry again.

** 3:18 P.M.  
** _With the person you tried to threaten?_

****3:19 P.M.  
I succeeded eventually. But yes. Him.  
**3:20 P.M.**  
You wouldn’t be against my threats if you knew how much he doesn’t want to watch SW.

 

**Wednesday 26 February**   
**11:40 P.M.**   
_My sister just came home with a lightsaber._

**11:42 P.M.  
** And you thought of me? That’s sweet.

**11:45 P.M.**  
_She said she confiscated it from someone who was trying to use it as a weapon._  
**11:45 P.M.**  
_I think my sister met you today._

****11:46 P.M.  
Ha. Ha. Either that, or she read your text history. But I haven’t been off campus all day.  
**11:48 P.M.**  
Why do you even still have my number?

** 11:53 P.M.  
** _I haven’t cleared my history yet._

****11:54 P.M.  
Maybe you should do that next time BEFORE your sister reads them.  
****11:56 P.M.  
I’m Stiles by the way.  
**11:57 P.M.**  
Oh my god, just ignore that.

  
****Thursday 27 February  
12:00 A.M.  
… You’re already ignoring it.  
****12:13 A.M.  
This is awkward.  
****12:18 A.M.  
I’m just gonna stop now.  
****3:14 A.M.  
Okay.  
****10:06 A.M.  
You’re really not gonna tell me your name, are you?

** 10:23 A.M.  
** _Nope._

**10:25 A.M.  
** Because it’s super embarrassing, or because you’re actually a serial killer on the run from the law?

**10:31 A.M.**  
_Option c)._  
**10:32 A.M.**  
_I’m actually one of those normal people who don’t give out information to strangers._

****10:38 A.M.  
You mean the boring ones?  
****10:41 A.M.  
Now I really just wanna know your name.  
**10:42 A.M.**  
I promise I won’t even Facebook stalk you a little bit.

** 10:43 A.M.  
** _Is that even possible with just a first name?_

**10:44 A.M.  
** I won’t even TRY; what more do you want from me?

** 10:47 A.M.  
** _Time for work. Goodbye, Stiles._

**10:49 A.M.  
** What kind of asshole starts work at precisely 10:47am?

 

**Thursday 6 March**  
**10:47 A.M.**  
Have fun at work.

** 10:53 A.M.  
** _Not likely._

****10:56 A.M.  
Damn.  
**10:56 A.M.**  
It’s that bad?

** 10:57 A.M.  
** _Not really._

**10:58 A.M.  
** You just like bitching about stuff?

** 11:00 A.M.  
** _Something like that._

****11:23 A.M.  
That’s cool.  
****11:24 A.M.  
Bitching’s totally cool here.  
****11:26 A.M.  
Judgement-free zone.  
****12:47 P.M.  
Unless you wanna bitch about Star Wars.  
****12:48 P.M.  
Because then the judgement of the Mighty Jagrafess of the Holy Hadrojassic Maxarodenfoe  will definitely rain down on you.  
****12:50 P.M.  
Yes, I definitely do get nerdier by the second.  
****12:52 P.M.  
Thanks for noticing.  
****1:01 P.M.  
And I’m feeling just fine today too. Thanks.  
****1:07 P.M.  
Why yes, this IS a new shirt.  
**1:12 P.M.**  
No, this isn’t a new haircut; it’s just raining.

** 1:32 P.M.  
** _Do you ever shut up?_

****1:37 P.M.  
Not really.  
**1:42 P.M.**  
Do you ever use more than 5 words?

** 1:43 P.M. **  
_Not really._

****Friday 7 March  
2:42 P.M.  
I think I wanna murder my forensic science professor  
**2:45 P.M.**  
Is that normal?

** 3:37 P.M.  
** _You might get extra credit if you analyze the blood spatters._

****3:54 P.M.  
Okay, Dexter.  
****3:55 P.M.  
I just almost choked to death in class, by the way.  
**3:57 P.M.**  
Thanks for that.

** 4:14 P.M. **  
_You’re welcome._

**Friday 14 March**   
**9:17 A.M.**   
_Did you really reference Star Wars and Doctor Who in the same sentence?_

**10:34 A.M.  
** Did it really take you more than a week to catch on or did you google it?

**10:41 A.M.**  
_Definitely Googled it._  
**10:42 A.M.**  
_I was just dying to know all about your obscure little references._

**10:50 A.M.  
** Dude, how do you DO that?

** 11:17 A.M.  
** _Do what?_

**11:18 A.M.  
** Convey sarcasm via text.

** 11:28 A.M.  
** _I don’t reveal my secrets._

****11:30 A.M.  
Are you even real?  
**1:47 P.M.**  
That wasn’t a trick question.

** 1:50 P.M.  
** _Shouldn’t you be in a forensic science class?_

**1:51 P.M.  
** Okay, Dexter.

**1:53 P.M.**  
_There’s a difference between serial murder and generic stalking._  
**1:53 P.M.**  
_And there’s a difference between generic stalking and remembering things._

**1:57 P.M.  
** The law might say otherwise in this case.

** 1:58 P.M.  
** _Coming from the guy who wished me a good day at work._

**1:58 P.M.  
** I’m allowed; I have ADHD and my dad’s a sheriff.

**1:59 P.M.**  
_That doesn’t mean you’re allowed to stalk people._  
**1:59 P.M.**  
_You couldn’t report me even if you wanted to._

**2:01 P.M.  
** And why’s that?

** 2:08 P.M.  
** _You don’t know my name._

****2:12 P.M.  
I reiterate:  
**2:12 P.M.**  
Okay, Dexter.

** 10:43 P.M.  
** _Derek._

****10:47 P.M.  
Derek. Really? That’s, like, a name for a 50 year old guy.  
****10:47 P.M.  
Wait, you might actually be 50.  
****10:47 P.M.  
Nvm.  
**10:48 P.M.**  
But still. That’s a dumb name.

** 10:57 P.M.  
** _That’s rich, coming from a “Stiles”._

****10:59 P.M.  
Hey, lose the quotation marks, that’s my name!  
****11:01 P.M.  
Okay, it’s not, but whatever.  
****11:07 P.M.  
Please tell me you’re not 50.  
****11:13 P.M.  
Oh God.  
****11:21 P.M.  
You totally are, aren’t you?  
**11:34 P.M.** ****  
Why do I feel so violated?  
**11:47 P.M.**  
Shit.

 

**Saturday 15 March**   
**12:03 A.M.**   
_I’m 24._

**12:03 A.M.  
** praise jesus.

** 12:05 A.M.  
** _You’re what? 15?_

****12:05 A.M.  
I’m offended by that accusation.  
****12:06 A.M.  
But also worried about the number of 15 year olds you, as a 24 year old man, are texting.  
**12:07 A.M.**  
How many 15 year old boys do you know who take forensic science?

** 12:08 A.M.  
** _I’ve never met anyone over the age of 15 react so harshly to a potential 50 year old man._

**1:09 P.M.  
** Touché.

 

****Monday 17 March  
12:11 P.M.  
It’s a beautiful day, I slept more than 5 hours, I’m nowhere near caught up on studying, but my only class today has been cancelled, and I just borrowed Firefly on DVD.  
****12:50 P.M.  
I’ll assume you’re working.  
**12:52 P.M.**  
But dude, text me when you can because I need amusement.

**3:43 P.M.**  
_Can’t._  
**3:43 P.M.**  
_Sorry._

****3:51 P.M.  
Oh. Okay, cool.  
****3:53 P.M.  
I mean it’s not like…  
**4:02 P.M.**  
Okay.

 

****Friday 21 March  
1:40 P.M.  
He’s legitimately talking about blood spatters and I’m trying not to snort into my coffee.  
****1:43 P.M.  
It’s a problem.  
****1:56 P.M.  
No witty repartee today either?  
****2:06 P.M.  
Cool.

 

****Saturday 22 March  
11:17 A.M.  
Okay, did I do something wrong?  
****11:18 A.M.  
I feel like I did something wrong.  
****11:20 A.M.  
Like. I know we’re not friends or anything.  
****11:24 A.M.  
But idk.  
****11:24 A.M.  
I guess I just got used to texting you during forensic science class.

 

**Sunday 23 March**   
**11:14 P.M.**   
_You didn’t._

****11:18 P.M.  
You’re alive!  
****11:18 P.M.  
Praise Jesus.  
****11:18 P.M.  
Hallelujah.  
**11:52 P.M.**  
I didn’t what?

**** 11:53 P.M.  
_Do something wrong._  
**** 11:54 P.M.  
_It’s not you._  
**11:59 P.M.**  
_I can’t do this right now._

 

****Monday 24 March  
12:04 A.M.  
Are you seriously giving me the “it’s not you, it’s me” spiel?  
****12:04 A.M.  
Are you breaking up with me?  
****12:04 A.M.  
Why does it feel like you’re breaking up with me?

** 12:22 A.M.  
** _I’m not breaking up with you._

**12:28 A.M.  
** Gee, thanks for that, Talkative Tim.

 

**Friday 28 March**  
**1:31 P.M.**  
He’s already boring me to death.

** 1:36 P.M.  
** _Maybe you’ll get something out of it._

****1:38 P.M.  
Not likely. He’s a moron.  
****1:38 P.M.  
He uses the word groovy unironically.  
**1:39 P.M.**  
UNIRONICALLY.

**1:44 P.M.**  
_The college hired him for a reason, right?_  
**1:45 P.M.**  
_Pay attention. Pretend to be Dexter. Maybe you’ll actually learn._

**1:48 P.M.  
** We’re not discussing the hiatus we took, then?

** 1:57 P.M.  
** _Pay attention._

**1:58 P.M.  
** Multi-tasking.

** 1:58 P.M.  
** _I heard only women can do that._

**1:59 P.M.  
** I never told you I wasn’t a woman.

** 2:11 P.M.  
** _“How many 15 year old boys do you know who take forensic science?”_

****2:11 P.M.  
Did you really just.  
****2:12 P.M.  
You did.  
****2:13 P.M.  
Okay.  
****2:21 P.M.  
Nice work changing the subject, by the way.  
**3:34 P.M.**  
We’re really not discussing it?

**3:53 P.M.**  
_No. We’re not._  
**3:54 P.M.**  
_Take it or leave it._  
**4:00 P.M.**  
_You can always delete my number._


End file.
